So it's been a while dear blogg, my sincere apologizes for being so lax in my blogging duties...
I find myself sitting here on a Saturday night as a pot of Chicken Riggies slowly simmer on the stove, Christmas music playing quietly from my computer, hubs in the other room playing on his computer, and Bazil scampering around the house unable to decide if she wants to sleep or play, so she does both!
It's not just any Saturday night, it's the 21st of November. Today my father would have been 67 years old. Now no sympathies needed as I am at peace with his passing, however, it does bring a bitter sweet emotion thinking about him. Bare with me blogg, as I may jump around a little as I stroll down memory lane...
I wonder what he would look like? Gray hair, same build, probably tan from living in a warm climate as my mom desires, same mustache, and wearing golf shirts with elastic waisted pants!
I call my mom every day but make special note to call on my father's birthday. We don't dwell on the fact that he is gone, instead it's an unsaid understanding as to why I am calling and "checking in on her" as I often do.
There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of my dad. Heck, I see him staring back at me every morning in the mirror (thanks for the honker of a nose dad!). But during the holidays, and now especially as I sit here almost 8 months pregnant, I find myself day dreaming of what both past memories and fictional pictures of what life would be like if he were alive today.
On a side note, Bazil must realize I am in a thoughtful mood as she kindly just dropped her toy squirrel on my lap and laid at my feet...
Ok, back to the day dreams....
Thanksgiving was a pretty laid back holiday at our house. Mom took the reigns in the kitchen (which we all stayed out of as it was just a safer option, trust me), and the rest of us would hang out watching the Macy's Day Parade and random movies on TV. My dad was not at all interested in football so thankfully we got to veggitate watching Turner Classic Movies and eating nuts out of the cornucopia that my mom would fill each year. Dinner would be served and then, bam, off to sleep we all fell on the couch...my head usually laying on my dad's lap where I could hear the gurgling of his stomach.
Christmas was a little more chaotic. For many years we spent them at my grandparents house. But as we got older, we started staying at our home. Midnight mass was a tradition, as was eating seafood all night and busting into the shrimp cocktail at 1am after church. Dad would light a fire and (after we stopped believing in Santa) we would open presents, allowing us to sleep in Christmas morning.
As a kid, I always wondered why we were the only family that left wine and cheese for Santa and sometimes even a powdered jelly donuts. My dad had good taste! I look forward to hubs and I creating our own special treat for Santa. I can see us leaving rice crispy treats with a mug of hot chocolate, two of John's favorites. :o)
My favorite New Years Eve (also my birthday) was when my dad had maybe 2 or 3 at the most glasses of wine. My dad was somewhat of a light weight when it came to the alcohol scene. Ironically, both my brother's take after him and my mom and I can punch a bottle of wine back with no worries (that helped a LOT in college mom, thanks!). But there was my dad, happy as can be, ringing an old antique bell that we had hung while wearing chef's hat and wishing us a Happy New Year. Classic...
These day's I find myself wondering what it would be like to see my dad as a grandpa. No doubt in my mind he would be amazing. Kind, patient, innovated...all amazing qualities that a grandpa would have. I know he has been watching over me as my pregnancy continues to progress and I love and embrace the times that I remind myself of him. Whether it's when I am in the kitchen, cooking and singing like he used to, or finding myself with unexplained patience at times that I should be frustrated, I know these are the moments where my father's legacy carry on through me and will ultimately be passed to his grandchild...
My kid is going to be the luckiest in the world...I'll have great bedtime stories to share with him/her about a courageous, honorable, loving man. A man named Grandpa.
Well blogg, Bazil is demanding some attention. I'll leave you with this: I bet my dad would have loved this dog and I have no doubt that she would have absolutely licked him to pieces!
